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Evil Yaoi Girls Club

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Extra Ink and Parchment (Harry) [Aug. 3rd, 2005|12:36 am]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

(Mish forgot to post this one, so it's here now. Better late than never.)

I'm back at the Inne again. This time, though, I probably won't be leaving for a while. At least, that's what Miss Rachel said when she brought me something to eat yesterday.

As Miss Rachel says, I was on the losing side of an argument with an automobile.

Instead of being in the room I'd picked out on one of my earlier visits, I'm staying in Sanzo's room. Of all the people around who would have been willing to help me when I got hurt, the last one I expected was Sanzo. Rumors fly all over this place and I heard plenty about him from both Mini and Stitch.

Billy talked about him, too, but not as much. In general, the impression I got was that he was rather reclusive. Now that I've spent some time around him and we've talked, I have a better understanding of how he is.

I'm not sure what good that'd do me, except to make sure I don't get him mad at me. He's very complex and, in some ways, very contrary. He claims laziness, but I know for a fact he goes down to swim at least every other morning. He says he's got little use for anyone else, but I'm here in his room and under his care.

After talking with him over the last several days, I think I've figured out a few things.

We have some stuff in common. Both of us lost our parents when we were really young. No one knows what happened to his since he was found in a river and mine were killed by Voldemort. Both of us were picked on when we grew up - he by other boys in the temple where he was living and me by Dudley. Both of us have someone that we respected and cherished, though, mine's still alive.

I can hear how fond of his late master he was everytime he talks about him. I wonder if I'm like that when I talk about Sirius? Do I get that far away look and that same kind of tone like he does? I don't know what I'd do if I lost Sirius the way he lost his master. I think it'd be horrible, really.

Sanzo's afraid of letting people get too close to him. After he lost his master, and in such a violent way, he withdrew into himself. I reckon part of it's because of how the others in the temple accused him of murdering Koumyou Sanzo the next day. He needed a friend and they accused him... not unlike how people accused me of being the heir of Salazar Slytherin back in my second year at Hogwarts. If it hadn't been for Fred and George at the time, I think I might have felt rather defeated. Their levity, however, was much appreciated later, once the situation had been resolved.

Unfortunately, Sanzo didn't have a pair of friends like the Weasley twins. If he did, though, I reckon they might have seen the business end of his gun often. He doesn't strike me as the patient type when it comes to pranks.


Hmmm... tired. I think the pain medicine Miss Rachel brought is starting to hit. I'll pick this up again later.
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[admin] Game Logs [May. 28th, 2005|02:01 am]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

Due to some problems with accessing and updating the official EYGC site, we're going to do a test run of posting the game logs here, which means that some of the lengthier ones may be split into separate posts (but will be labled clearly: i.e. part 1, date; part 2, date . . . etc.) We'll see how this works out for everyone.

We have about a year's worth of unposted logs so it will take some time to get them all up; although hopefully, if this works out, we can keep the logs more up to date.
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[admin] New Maps [May. 21st, 2005|02:10 am]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

[mood |awake]
[noise |"Ode for My Pain" - Frostburn]

Here are the links for the new maps of the Inne:

First Floor:

Second Floor:

The basement/pool room, third floor guest rooms and garden layouts have remained the same for the time being, although the garden now encompasses three sides of the Inne with one being a kind of wilderness type area that is mostly trees.
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Hidden Spirit (Silva) [May. 6th, 2005|07:41 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

[mood |happy]

I've touched a dragon. Yes, an honest to goodness, living, breathing dragon. I've also met a man with pointed ears and skin blacker than my hair. Of course, I can't leave out the blue creature with all the arms who claims to be a dog -- as if dogs can talk or walk upright. Although perhaps where he is from, they can.

There are so many wonderous things that I've discovered while at the Inne; but perhaps the greatest of them so far was to find that Kenshi had been harboring feelings similar to my own.

I've never been good at expressing my feelings, unless I felt particularly outraged by something -- Tao Ren's killing of Chrom, Faust VIII's inclusion in the Shaman Tournament. My training as an official was full of constant reminders to keep my personal feelings buried and to remain neutral -- something that has carried over into my private life almost without thought.

I had hoped that Kenshi wouldn't be offended by my interest in him, or that the knowledge wouldn't cause our friendship to end. The thought that he might actually reciprocate my feelings was so small that it was hardly worth believing in. I think we surprised each other, something that I have a feeling doesn't happen very often with him.

We're both still a little hesitant with one another, but I guess that's to be expected. His experience is non-existent and mine had only been with Chrom -- and he was almost always the aggressor in our relationship, even though he was several years younger. That's not to say that I just laid there while he took the upper hand, although at first it was like that. But as our relationship progressed, I learned what to do -- how to please Chrom like he pleased me. *Smiles a bit.* That's one of the things I enjoyed the most -- the sharing and learning, of discovering how to give pleasure to another person, just as they gave it to me. I hope that it will be like that for Kenshi and I when the time comes.
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Hidden Spirit (Silva) [Apr. 17th, 2005|01:03 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

[mood |confused]

It's nice to be home again -- back to the things and people that I know, the lakes and forests that surround our village.

My "fiancees" were happy to see me. They were waiting for me with flowers and walked me home, chatting non-stop the whole way. Kalim's wife was also waiting for us when we arrived. I still can't believe he persuaded someone as beautiful as that to marry him. I suppose that means there's hope for the rest of us.

I was surprised to learn that Goldva selected a replacement for Chrom, especially since it turned out to be Nichrom, my late friend's younger brother. I can't believe it. Sometimes I wonder what that old man is thinking. Aside from the fact that he's so young -- only 16, I think Goldva is asking too much of him to oversee his brother's killer. I haven't yet had a chance to speak to him about Chrom's death and Tao Ren, although I don't know what I'll say when I do. He and I were never that close despite my friendship with Chrom.

Aside from meeting with Goldva and the other officiants about the next phase of tournament, I haven't really had much to occupy my time and so I've been left with my thoughts; which oddly enough have been full of both Chrom and Kenshi.

It's strange, passing by Chrom's house every day. I look up at the windows, expecting to see him hanging out and calling down to me, just like he used to. But the windows are closed and dark, just like the place where my friend's body now rests -- in a foreigner's cemetery in Tokyo, far from his family and friends.

I couldn't help myself the other day and so I went to the door and stood there with my palm on it, hoping that maybe I'd feel something of his spirit lingering there, but there was nothing -- it was like an empty shell.

Chrom . . . who loved to sing and dance, who always had a smile for everyone, and who I loved more than I wanted to admit.

To call us lovers might be a little misleading. It's true that he and I had been intimate, but our relationship was never as committed or as regular as the word "lover" seems to imply. Whenever we were together, it was never planned or thought out, it just . . . happened.

Our very first night together was spent on a mattress on the floor of his house, surrounded by boxes. I'd helped him move earlier in the day, finally into a place of his own. We'd ordered in a pizza and were sitting on the floor drinking beer talking about things he wanted to do to fix it up when he suddenly leaned over and kissed me. I don't know if it was the beer, or something hidden that I'd never acknowledged until then, but as that kiss lingered on I found myself wanting for it to never end. One thing led to another until our clothes were cast aside, and I found myself burning with a need for . . . something.

That night, in the arms of my best friend, I lost my virginity.

It was several weeks before it happened again, and even longer after that; but that seemed to be the nature of our relationship -- unplanned and spontaneous for the most part. We never talked about making it anything more than it was, and I used to sometimes wonder if I was nothing more than a distraction until someone else came along.

I don't have any doubts that Chrom had some feelings for me. I won't call them love, but I know that he cared. I always knew that my feelings for him were much stronger though. My only regret is that it took his death for me to admit what had been in my heart all along; and now it's too late.

Kenshi . . .

He's nothing like Chrom; and yet I've found myself being drawn to him more and more each time that we meet. There's something about him, a kind of quiet strength that I admire a great deal. He's been through so much; and yet he still goes on, refusing to be defeated by either his blindness or his enemies.

In the beginning I was happy just to have a friend in a strange place, someone who was more of an age with me since it seems that most of those that I've met or seen at the Inne have been much younger. But lately, ever since his return from the NetherRealm with his spiritual sight gone, I've found those feelings of friendship becoming much deeper; and I can't help but wonder if it's because I really am beginning to care for him, or if I'm merely taking those feelings that I had for Chrom and unconsciously applying them to Kenshi.

I would want them to be true feelings, he deserves no less. From what he's told me, he's been alone for the greater part of his life; and that life has been consumed by various pursuits that have left little room for friends, let alone lovers. I don't have any idea as to how he feels about the idea of same sex relationships, although he didn't seem to be too surprised when I told him what Shido had said about there being several on-going ones at the Inne. Just because he didn't seem to mind the idea, doesn't necessarily mean that he'd be open to it himself.

I don't want to risk the friendship that Kenshi and I have; yet at the same time, I don't think I can stop my feelings for him from growing stronger. I think it was after I helped him cleanse the taint of the NetherRealm from his spirit that I came to realize just how deeply my feelings were for him. When I touched his face, believing that I'd seen drops of blood on his skin, when my fingers wandered over the scars on it, I think that's when it finally clicked. Since then, I've felt kind of self-conscious around him, more aware of my movements and words. I don't know if he's noticed any change in my manner, but if he has, he hasn't said anything about it.

I just wish I knew what to do, I don't like being so confused and unsure.
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Over the Bartop { Rachel } [Mar. 24th, 2005|11:28 am]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

[mood |bored]
[noise |"Can't Fight the Moonlight" -- Leanne Rhimes]

It's been pretty dead around the Inne lately. I'm up here, in the bar as usual, not really doing much of anything. I got a visit from the new guy, Randy (at least, I think that's his name - I might have been too blitzed to remember right). I guess I'm suffering that thing that happens to everyone - too much time.

I got to thinkin' though... About when someone first came to me about this place.

I've worked in Lil's place forever. I love it there. It keeps me out of major trouble and I get to do something I love to do. I dance, I serve liquor, I get to watch hot guys making asses out of themselves in a bar, and sometimes I get to kick their asses. I'm a lifer there... Not giving it up for nothing.

This Inne place... man, what a set-up. Unlike the guests, I can come and go as I please - the perk of being one of the "employees" around there. If I've had it a little rough at home, I can phase out and come here to relax. I've got it all here: liquor, eyecandy, a hot guy in my bed when I want... It's good.

I can travel to any world in the blink of a fucking eye - how cool is that?

Shit, rambling again... back to the point.

The first time I'd ever heard of the place, some hot guy with violet hair showed up after Zowie, Cammy, and me got done at the Coyote. We went to the diner as usual, having breakfast and sorting out our tips, and he comes walkin' in lookin' just as fucking hot as you please. Zowie even did a double-take on him... but she told me later he was a little too pale for her tastes.

Once we'd broken up for the night, he came over to the table and parked his ass down. Introduced himself as "Shido" and said he had a proposition for me. I'm no stranger to guys following me from the bar and asking me to screw them, I figured he was one of those.

Fuck, was I wrong.

He started spinning this fairy tale about a place like no other; with all kinds of perks and magic and shit... I swear, I spent half my time telling him "bullshit" and the other half waiting for the boys in white coats to show up. Shido looked so fucking serious, though. One of those kinds of serious that meant he was either telling the truth or so god-damn crazy that the boys at the looney-bin didn't want him anymore.

I finally told him to stop talking about the fucking place and show me if it was as real as he was telling me. And I'll be god-damned... He was telling me the truth. No bullshitting. It was everything he'd said it was.

Shido told me he was a Guardian... said that he'd been one for a couple of years... he was free to come and go when he wanted, but he'd get pulled back if something went to shit or if he was needed by his boss-types. He told me that his job around the place was to keep the peace... put down any fights if they break out. Said that, sometimes, the other guests would do it before he even got there.

Then, he introduced me to Mama K. Man, that woman was fucking cool. She's like... that awesome granny everyone wants: the one that gives you cookies everytime you visit. And she's got the best fucking cookies... fuck that, she's got the best food, no arguments.

I snuck one of her cheesecakes back to the girls at the Coyote once... We all pigged out on it like junkies on heroin.

Anyway, so Shido tells me that they want to put in a bar at the Inne... and they want me to run it. Just like that: no application, no criminal checks, just boom - here's a job if you want.

So, I gave him specs for it. I gave him the rundown of how I'd work the place. I'd run it like Lil does... no mixed drinks (those are for pussies anyway) and no bullshit.

He agreed, then introduced me to the guy who knew more about what I was wanting, a hot blond by the name of Johnny Silverhand. That boy... damn. The fact he's got a metal arm never even figured into things... except to make him more human, I guess.

So, I get the okay to start coming back to set the place up. Meanwhile, each time I'm there, Johnny and I are talking; telling a little more about our backgrounds and shit. He's had it rough, damn rough. I thought *I* had it bad... Fuck. I'll keep my shitty life, thanks, if that means I'd have to trade with him.

It didn't take long to figure out what catches the Silverrocker's eye, either... You gotta have an edge. You gotta be able to look someone in the eye in a brawl and know that, win or lose, neither of you fuckers are gonna back down. I don't think he was sure about my edge or not until that fucking Spaniard, Vega, got in my face.

Seven god-damn feet tall, built like a brick shithouse, and as nuts as they come. I didn't back down. Fuck... the worst someone can do is kill me. I told him that I wasn't about to let some spanish-speaking prettyboy push me around, no matter how big he was.

I don't even remember why we were getting all pissed at each other, except I knew he was a dick and he knew I was a bitch.

Now, I don't speak spanish, but he said something to Johnny that made him laugh his ass off. Johnny told me later and I considered kicking Vega in the balls for it, but my Silverrocker changed my mind.

Vega and I get along now, but that doesn't change the fact I think he's off his fucking rocker.

I guess I got to thinking about this because of Gojyo. Big Red wants me to help him and that pissy blond out. Apparently, they're gonna be opening a bar and casino together. I'm not thinking this is such a good idea, considering how much they fight and shit, but hey, what the hell. It's not like I've got anything better to do.

Besides, they've got a rough world... who knows... it might be fun.
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Thoughts At Sunrise {Drizzt Do'Urden} [Mar. 17th, 2005|11:18 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

[mood |contemplative]

I am, as yet, uncertain of how much time has passed since I removed myself, permanently, from the White Oaks Inne. These last few weeks have been spent in the company of young Cain, who has taken to my world with the amazed wonder of a child. It is such a pleasure to bask in his company, in his innocent questions, in his zeal for enjoying the trivial things that have become my life.

He was, at first arrival, apprehensive of things when he saw the sea of white that is Icewind Dale in the winter months. Cain recovered from this initial shock quickly enough, especially once we arrived at the dwarven caverns underneath Kelvin's Cairn. He has spent hours upon hours capturing images, photographs he calls them, of as many things he can so that he can share this adventure with those he deems dear to him upon his return. A truly marvelous device, this thing he calls a "camera". He has used its properties to capture images of myself, Catti-Brie, Bruenor, Regis, Wulfgar, and many of the sights around Ten Towns so far, as well as some of the monsters we've encountered together and some of the more grand wonders of Silverymoon when I took him there shortly after our arrival.

As I have come to expect from my friends here, they have welcomed Cain; helping to feed into his wonder and curiosity, which is particularly strong where Bruenor and Regis are concerned. I did not expect to see him so startled at what he would find in the undercaverns: Bruenor's small stature hiding so much strength and Regis' smaller stature hiding so much laziness. My old dwarven friend has grown rather fond of the youth, though I suspect that Cain's capacity for the local brews has no doubt lent some strength to the intensity of it. Good Bruenor is, at heart, a dwarf of the mountains and that means one must have a taste for the strong brews if they are to catch his attention quickly.

Catti-Brie is especially fond of young Cain, followed only by Stumpet Rakingclaw. I had expected as much from my young friend, as she is quick to show affection when needed. Catti-Brie has remained at my side throughout many trials and troubles, offering me guidance when I falter and a sharp-tongued reminder when I do not heed her words. There is no doubt in my mind that, should Cain desire to return here, he will have a place that he can call home.

His presence has been much like a balm to my bruised heart, I must admit.

Now that I am not blinded by my own pain, I am given to wonder if my choice to stay away from the Inne wasn't too hasty a decision. Now that I have had time away from the friends that I made there: Lady Kudou, Billy, Hakkai, Kougaiji, Zidane, Yohji, and Edward (and yes, young Mini and Stitch, as well); I consider that, perhaps, I allowed the pain I felt to over run my good reason.

If that is so, then I have made a grievious error. It would not be the first time, nor the last, I'm certain. I am still young, and perhaps a little reckless, despite my years.

Guenhwyvar's displeasure at my decision seems almost palpable now, and upon further reflection, I realize that she has always felt it even if she could not verbally tell me as much. She too has made friends at the Inne, I have come to understand, and in withdrawing myself from my own, I have withdrawn her from hers as well. In many ways, this has made me come to understand just how selfish my decision was.

Much of my reconsidering is because of Cain himself. His questions when we are away from the ears of others have done much to prod me into rethinking these great many things. He makes no attempt to conceal his wishes and no attempt to keep silent his requests, demands, and desires that I return with him when the time comes.

To that end, I have come to another decision; this one more thought through than my previous one. I'll no longer allow my pained heart to keep me away from those new friends I have made.

They mean too much to me, are too precious to me. That place was the single location where I didn't have to fight or struggle to be accepted. In that light, I have but one thought that has plagued me many times these last weeks.

What in the Nine Hells was I thinking?

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Revenge of the Dancing Chibi Gojyo [Feb. 16th, 2005|09:08 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

The poor kappa, he's really let himself go . . .

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Hidden Spirit (Silva) [Feb. 11th, 2005|04:36 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club


Despite all the time that I've had on my hands lately, I haven't felt very motivated to keep up this journal.

We've hit a lull between matches which has left me with little to do tournament-wise. Neither Kalim nor I have had much luck selling our tribal goods lately. I'm of the opinion that it's his scary and homely face that is keeping all the potential customers away. I knew I should have stayed on my own.

Needless to say, I'm quite behind on the outrageous rent for this hole in the wall flat and the electricity was turned off well over a week ago. To make matters slightly worse, a strange hot spell has settled over Japan leaving the air so heavy and damp that it's almost impossible to sleep at night. Somehow I always thought that the greatest honor that I could have been given in my life would somehow seem like much more than this.

Kalim seems to have come to the conclusion that my apartment is now his as well and has decided to make himself at home. I don't mind his company, but the least he could do is offer up some money, although I suspect he's just as broke as I am which is why he probably decided to move in.

Goldva contacted us not too long ago and decided to put my dedication and impartiality to the test once more. With the shortage of officiants due to Chrom's death, he's assigned Tao Ren to me. I was stunned -- stunned that he would even suggest such a thing. Me, guiding the cold-blooded killer of my best friend. Even Kalim was outraged by it at first. I still get so angry just thinking about it. By the oath I swore, I will do what I'm required to, but no more than that. I'd sooner resign than see that little psychopath as the Shaman King. As much as it angers me, I can only put my faith in the Great Spirit and pray that it doesn't happen. If there is any justice in the world, my friend's killer will never blacken the title of Shaman King.

It's strange going from the suffocating weather of Japan to the cold winter of the Inne; although it's been a while since I was there last, at least two weeks or so as time passes here. Since that last visit, I find my idle thoughts turning more and more from the tournament and towards Kenshi.

When we saw each other last, he told me that he was only a short journey away from the portal that would take him to a place called the NetherRealm -- one of the many realms that can be found on his world. From what he told me, it's an evil and black place that poisons the souls of those who travel there. His intention was to see if the sorcerer Shang Tsung might have fled there after the assault on his island home in Outworld. It's Kenshi's belief that Tsung may not be dead since the souls of his ancestors never returned to his sword. Of course there is another possibility, one even more horrendous -- that the one who overthrew Shang Tsung took possession of the souls and is using them to animate an army of corpses.

As a shaman, I could never sit by idly and let such a blasphemous thing happen; and so I pledged to help my friend in any way that I could. I know that it's impossible for me to go with him, and so I've had to content myself with researching a way free his ancestor's souls once he discovers what has truly happened to them . I'd considered once or twice of asking Goldva's advice on the matter; but due to our current estrangement over Tao Ren, that might not be such a good idea at the moment. I don't want to give him any more reasons to question my dedication, or worse, replace me as an official.

Kenshi told me that he had been traveling with someone, another warrior named Sub-Zero, who was guiding him to the place where the world portals were. Unfortunately however, Sub-Zero will not be accompanying my friend to the NetherRealm. I had hoped that Kenshi wouldn't be alone -- not that he needs to be watched over; but in such a place, having an ally you can count on could make a world of difference.

I'm anxious to see my friend again and find out what's happened; yet I'm also a bit reluctant. Kenshi himself warned me that he may not be quite the same once he returns due to the dark influences that permeate the NetherRealm -- influences that poison the soul. In this at least, I know I can help him. My great-grandmother was a powerful medicine woman and I learned a great deal from her before she passed away. I've already gathered together what I'm likely to need and I'll be ready to help Kenshi should he need it.

I know I probably shouldn't say this, but helping Kenshi in his quest has become just as important to me as finding the next Shaman King. My grandfather once told me that I was destined for something important, that he had seen it, although the vision was unclear as to just what it was. We all assumed that it would have something to do with the Shaman Tournament, since the 500 year cycle would happen sometime during my lifetime. But now, I'm not so sure that was it at all. Yes, the tournament is important and I'm grateful for the chance that I've been given to be a part of it, but it some how falls a little short when compared to aiding Kenshi in restoring his honor and the spirits of his ancestors.

Hopefully I'll return to the Inne soon and I pray that my friend is there waiting for me with good news.
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Banishing Guns and Prayer Beads (Sanzo) [Feb. 8th, 2005|10:46 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

[mood |contemplative]

Well, it's finally reached Goku's ears... about Billy. And, as much as I figured I'd want to kick Kudou's ass over it, he's not the one I'm pissed off at. Gojyo's ranked himself pretty high on my shitlist.

Considering how much I bitch about Goku, I'd never be able to simply leave him to his own devices. No matter what I say, no matter what I do... Part of it is the fact that, no matter what, I can hear him. Even before I went to the dark cave where he was, I'd been hearing his voice for years. Long before I'd ever set him free, I'd been listening to him... hearing him call out for someone... begging to be out in the light.

Gojyo made the mistake of telling Goku that I'd "kicked him to the curb" when it's just not true. That redheaded fairy knows NOTHING of my feelings or why I do what I do and I really don't appreciate his theories. I really don't think that bastard has any call telling Goku shit considering he can't even cough up the balls to tell Kudou the truth about how he feels.

The only reason that I left Goku behind (the real one) is that I need some time to myself - completely myself. A secondary reason is that Goku needs to start standing on his own more. No matter what, he's not a child. He's child-like in so many ways, but he's over five hundred years old. It's time to start pushing him towards being an adult.

I'm afraid he'll lose a lot of that innocence that we've all come to expect, and maybe a little naivete, but it's a necessary evil. Despite how things might seem to an outsider; Hakkai, Gojyo, and myself do give a damn about that kid. We all just have different ways of showing it.

The last week alone has really helped me clear a lot of the thoughts running around in my head. In a seriously fucked up way, all four of us have demonstrated our kinship, our comraderie, our... friendship. You can't go for months and months and months with the same three bastards and not care about them at all - no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you might say otherwise.

There's a lot of things I'll never tell those three. Koumyou Sanzo tried very hard to instill the ability to deal with people in a less-than-hostile way, but considering the actions of my temple "brothers" it didn't take. The very day after his death, I was accused as his murderer and only one other stood up for me. Even before that, I'd been teased constantly about my name and my origins. I know I'm an asshole, but I'm an asshole because of them. Those "pious" bastards took the one thing I truly cared about and tried to twist it, make it bittersweet.

Perhaps I see much of Koumyou and Shuei in Billy. He certainly does have a rather unique mixture of traits. Despite his inner demons, he laughs much more easily than I do. Then again, perhaps there is nothing of them in him at all and I'm simply seeing someone similar to myself. Except, where he can laugh, I rage and vent. I scream at the world; angry, pissed off, and scared shitless.

I'm sick of the hypocrisy I see around me day in and day out. The only ones who never seem to allow it to touch them are the three I was traveling with. They are constant, never-changing, but not stagnate. While I can, in general, predict how each one is going to react to something, I can't predict the exact ways they will respond.

I doubt that makes much sense.

Gojyo... we know how he is when a woman starts crying. It makes him uncomfortable as hell. Just over a year ago, you could expect him to try to hit on her. The offer would have been very much in earnest back then. Now, because of Kudou's influence, he would probably still hit on her, but he'd never follow through. (At least not with Goku safe-guarding Kudou's need for fidelity.)

The essential effect is the same, though. Gojyo would do the same things, but not towards the same ends. In this way, someone who knows him can predict *what* he will do, but not necessarily *why* or to what end.

The other three have changed in a lot of different ways. Hakkai has grown somewhat bolder, probably because of Seren's meekness. Gojyo has started settling down, because of his lover's wishes. Goku's been standing up for himself more and more.

In truth, the last has me pleased. I'll rail and bitch, because that's what they expect, but it's what was necessary. Goku's more difficult to walk all over in general - which is very good. It shows that he's starting to grow. I have to admit that Kudou's been a large part of that.

I'm still not sure how to deal with that particular development.

Many things loom on my horizon and they won't be denied for much longer. Now that I'm on my own, I can tackle them, one at a time, until they're taken care of. Sure, it delays our getting back to Chang An, but these things need to be resolved before I get any closer to home.

I'll write more later as my thoughts start to straighten out...
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