|Hidden Spirit (Silva)
||[Aug. 22nd, 2005|10:48 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club
I finally returned to the Inne not too long ago. My stay however, wasn't long, only about a day and a half. Even though my visit was short, I did manage to spend most of it with Kenshi.
My friend's quest has finally come to an end. The souls of his ancestors have been freed and once again reside within his sword, ready to be returned to their proper resting place, a task that Kenshi will be undertaking soon.
It's nice to see him so relaxed, so . . . free. Yet at the same time, he also seems a bit lost. His quest was such a big part of his life, one that perhaps he didn't expect to fulfill so soon; or perhaps one that he never anticipated surviving. I'm sure he's a bit unsure as to what to do or what his future may hold, a feeling I can more than sympathize with since I will no doubt be in a similar situation once the Shaman Tournament has ended and Hao is finally destroyed.
Hao . . . I have not mentioned anything about him to Kenshi, nor even to Yoh; although I believe that Yoh may suspect something after his encounter with Liliara during his journey to our village. I know it's inevitable that the truth will come out, but I would prefer to be the one to tell Yoh when that time comes. I owe him that much at least.
I wonder what Kenshi will think of me when he learns the truth of just who and what I am. That all of my talk of being honored to have been chosen as one of the ten officiating priests of the Shaman Tournament is just that -- talk. That I never had to compete to be chosen, that the place was handed to me because of the blood that runs through my veins – tainted as it is.
No. I won't let myself think of these things right now. Dwelling on them won't do me any good. They will come when the Great Spirit wills it.
Instead, I think I'd rather dwell on the time that I spent with Kenshi at the Inne – the time that we spent getting to know one another on a much more intimate basis.
Since the earliest days of our friendship, Kenshi and I have made use of the Japanese-style bath house on the grounds of the Inne several times together. Always before it was merely for relaxation and peace, but once we declared our feelings for one another, it became a private place where we could be together as well.
Up until our most recent visit there, the physical side of our relationship consisted mainly of light touches on the arm or shoulder and kissing. After seeing Drizzt's reaction to my friend's blindness and his own way of introducing himself to Kenshi, I had thought to use that same method to allow Kenshi to “see” me as it were. I'm not sure I can put into words how I felt when he touched me, his fingers gliding over my skin, while he used his sense of touch to see what what his eyes couldn't.
It's been so long since I've been with someone. Even before Chrom's death, our time together had been limited. Between preparing ourselves for the Shaman Tournament and Chrom's obligations to his family, there was very little time left for the two of us.
I used to love it when he would touch me, his hands gentle one moment; and then teasing and playful the next. He could drive me crazy sometimes. But it was a nice kind of crazy.
The piercing was Chrom's idea. He'd mentioned it – more than once – and I was never really sure if he was being serious or if he was just joking with me. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it, I'm usually not so impulsive.
Chrom was fascinated by it, once he got over his initial shock. (I don't think he believed that I would actually do it.) He could spend what sometimes felt like hours toying with it, using his fingers and his mouth to drive me nearly insane with sensation. The pleasure that he gave me far outweighed the initial pain of having it done and I don't regret it.
I suppose I should have said something to Kenshi beforehand, but my mind was . . . well elsewhere at the time. I'm still not quite sure of what to make of his reaction. He was surprised, that much was obvious, and perhaps a little apprehensive as well. I think he might have been afraid of hurting me when in actuality, his tentative fingers did quite the opposite. I only wish that we could have had more time so see where our explorations might have taken us.
Until the Inne brings me back, I will have to content myself with memories from my past visits there. Kenshi did mention going to Edenia again. The idea of visiting paradise with him appeals to me more each time that I hear it.