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Evil Yaoi Girls Club

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Birthday Boys... {Admin} [Nov. 8th, 2005|10:14 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

mishaelamk
November 9 -- Genjo Sanzo
November 20 -- Ky Kiske
November 25 -- Randy "Ryo" McLane
November 29 -- Sha Gojyo

If anyone else's boys have a birthday this month, follow up this post and I'll add them to the list.

Thanks.

--Mish.
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[admin] Something to share [Nov. 7th, 2005|04:46 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

empressmish
I've been playing around with a doll maker and ended up making a few of the EYGC guys (mostly mine) and thought I'd share them. My take on Silva, Gojyo, Billy and Lifeline:






If you'd like to try your hand at your own boy(s), here is the addy: http://elouai.com/doll-makers/new-dollmaker.php

I think Goj still needs a little work, especially on his face; but overall, I'm pretty pleased with them all.
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Karakura Defender (Ichigo) [Oct. 19th, 2005|10:23 am]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

akira_chan
I'm finally back in the living world again. I've been finally back for a week or so now. Rukia didn't come with us when we returned, unfortunately. I kinda expected it, so I'm not too surprised. We left a big mess there, that's why I'm still working for them. Not that the mess was our fault, but we were the convenient excuse for staging a coup - thank you traiterous captains. It was their fault Rukia was in danger in the first place.

Over the course of the time we spent recovering, we got to know the other captains pretty well. Especially Zaraki Kenpachi on my end, this insanely strong guy I beat who wants a rematch. I think he's lost a few braincells from repeated blows to the head.

This mess did a number on their ranks, and I secretly hope they recover. Pissed off immortals with demon powers aren't something people want roaming free. Never mind the Hollows they defeat.

Karin told me today she knew I was a Shinigami. She told me she's known a long time. I'm not really surprised, even though I tried to deny it at first. Karin is really smart and she can see the Hollows, so I guess that would mean she can see me. Plus I've been leaking spirit power everywhere. Yuzu however, is still unaware. She smiled and hugged me and asked me how my trip was. I only put up with her sappiness cause she's my sister. My dad implied I was doing something dirty again so I told him to go to hell. Everything seems to be normal here.

Seems like when I go to the Inne now, there's this Naoji guy hanging around. He's from Japan in 1930-something. Interesting guy, he's learning about becoming a noble...or something like that. Let's see...let's see...I haven't talk to Dark in awhile, which is too bad, but I guess I'll see him again soon. Then there's Mama Kudou who hit me with her spoon, who I see off and on. Then...then..

Too bad Inoue doesn't come with me on these things. She's really good with names. Damn, the time...Chad's going to be here any minute and I don't want to be caught writing in a diary. Ick. Although...I doubt he'd care considering he does things like pick up randomly possessed cockatiels.

(That made me laugh and Chad came in and asked me what, then he read over my shoulder and says in his defence "Only once." Thankfully everything else was on the other side of the page)

Uh oh, Yuzu's got ahold of Chad. I'd better go before he ends up in a dress...*snickering* Okay maybe not. Maybe I'll wait here for just a minute more.
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Thoughts at Sunrise {Drizzt} [Oct. 18th, 2005|10:19 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

mishaelamk

Kelvin's Cairn always seems to be so much more majestic in the minutes when the sun crests above the water. Cain normally joins me in my early ritual, however his work at the forges has tired him these last several days. Bruenor has said good things of his progress to me of late.

I was surprised at the swell of pride in my chest at my old friend's words of praise. Perhaps, though, I shouldn't have been. I should have expected it. Cain has shown so much progress, so much enthusiasm and excitement... I know now that he truly is my fosterling. That I share his care with others makes no difference.

It gives me to wonder... is this what a father feels when his son does well in the trials that life gives us? A simple question, but not so simple an answer. Cain is often jaded, in manners and in speech; but he is equally innocent and curious about a great many things.

Subtle things inspire curiosity, no matter how small they may seem. A graceful gesture from Stumpet as she performs her religious duties; the way the dwarves can cause magnificent changes with a slight adjustment of angle with the hammer as they craft; even the most minor twist of my wrists as I go through my personal training exercises with my blades. Cain is insatiable about these things, always wanting to know the hows and whys of what we're doing.

I take pleasure in explaining these things. More so than if he were simply any other youth. Stumpet and I have spoken about this matter, as have Lady Kudou and I. Stumpet I speak with because I know well her wisdom. The Lady Kudou I speak with because she is, above all else, a mother and would better understand my feelings than any other.

The pride Cain gives me when he smiles, when he does well, when he is eager to take on a new challenge... It is the same kind that a father, a parent, might feel. In my days with Zaknafein... did he feel such things about me? I pray to the gods he did. Now that I am experiencing these things on my own, I'd like to think that I inspired such feelings in my own father. I'm certain it was difficult for him with his concerns that my time in the lightless depths might have corrupted me.

I have no such fears for Cain. I work to undo the corruption he has had to live with since he was born, though I doubt that is the proper terminology for how he came into life. I strive, everytime we are together, to give him what he never could have gotten from the creature that brought him into being. I cherish the memories we make: each smile, each true laugh, his desire to learn from me, his need to hear me praise him when he does well, his questions when his curiosity gets the better of him...

Yes... I feel very much like a father... and I want to keep that as strong as possible.

He is growing close to adulthood, in body if not in mind. Stumpet has spoken to me of this because Cain has no surname. Had he been born and raised properly, he would have carried one from birth. However, because of his special circumstances, he has been denied this part of his own identity. Stumpet's suggested that, once he's completed his early training at the forges, that he be given or allowed to choose a surname.

I don't know how to approach him about this. There are many names he could take... Bruenor has told me, privately, that Cain is a member of Clan Battlehammer in heart if not in blood. But, even members of the dwarven clan have different surnames.

It would be a lie if I said that I had not considered giving him my own surname. I have no children of my own, nor do I think I will ever sire them. While the name Dourdenthe is a foul thing, I'd like to think that Do'Urden has been given honor through my actions and the few free actions my father was allowed. Do'Urden is a name that is known, respected, and even sometimes feared all along the Sea of Swords.

Ah, but my thoughts are divided this day. As fleeting as the wind that blows over the tundra of Icewind Dale. Now that they've run into the wall of this matter, they shift to another who occupies my feelings of late.

Randy McLane.

He is nearly the opposite of Cain. Where Cain is sure of himself so often, Randy is uncertain. Everytime I find a bracket of Tundra Roses, my thoughts shift to him and a smile finds its way to my face. He is gentle and intelligent, a man of considerable talents. One who inspires a desire to protect and comfort. A man who, without intention, draws me to share of myself in ways I would never think to save, perhaps, for Cattie-Bri and Alustriel.

What manner of man was this Dee Laytner that he did not wish to do these things for him? The more I hear about him, the more I detest the man for what he has done... for cultivating the reactions I see Randy give. No one should startle so easily at a simple touch, yet starve for that touch all the same.

And Randy does starve. He is as starved for someone who will take his needs to heart as much as I was starved for acceptance in a world that looks upon my race with fear, disgust, and hatred. I see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice, feel it in his touch, and taste it in his kiss.

Randy's kisses are sweet; like the honey confections one can purchase in the southern quarter of Waterdeep. These kisses, however, can not be purchased or stolen... They have to be earned. I have been blessed with a few, even more so that he bestowed them upon me of his own will and desire. He is to me as the dawning of the sun in my rituals... A beautiful, wondrous thing that I miss when it's gone and long for until the next morn.

He deserves a partner who is respectful of his wishes, devoted to his feelings as well as their own, and capable of seeing when he's pushed himself too far. Randy does that too often for my peace of mind, I fear. I do what I can when we see each other, but I wonder if it's enough.

Through the resources at my disposal, I have an understanding of what he endures at home. Because of my own experiences with Cain, I also understand how compounded that is with his own fosterling. Stack onto all of that his necessity at avoiding two individuals in his workplace.

Now that I truly think on it, I should do far more for him. I think I would rather face a horde of oncoming orcs, goblins, and gnolls before I would allow him to have to endure both Dee Laytner and Berkeley Rose. Truly a frightening thought.

Speaking of goblins...

I see a small band of them wandering over the snow. My thoughts can wait, I fear, as they're armed for battle. I'll write more after I've ascertained their intentions.
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Bandages and Battlefields [Lifeline] [Oct. 17th, 2005|02:45 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

empressmish
[mood |contemplative]

Until today, I hadn't opened this book in almost seven or eight years -- the memories and thoughts kept here were a bittersweet reminder of one of the happier times of my life. When it finally sunk in that I wouldn't be making any more visits to The Inne, I closed the cover and tucked it away. I'd still take it out every once in a while, in the hope that if I wished hard enough, that I could go back -- but I never did; and so I finally put away in the bottom of my old footlocker, almost forgotten until now.

I'm still not sure as to why the Inne decided to bring me back after all this time. Childman said something about a creature who was trying to gain access to it through the portals that brought us there. After ten years' time, I wouldn't have believed that the portal still worked, but apparently we were all still linked to one, even if it was dormant.

The Inne . . . why now? Why after all this time? Because of the attacks? That must be why. What other reason could there be? White Oaks seemed to have finished with the six of us a long time ago, so I really can't believe any other reason than that.

Ten years . . . ten years to get over the pain of losing five people who had been very important to me. The only way I could deal with it was to not think about it -- to bury it and pretend that it was all some kind of delusional dream state. I know that wasn't fair to them, but its all I could do. As time passed, I gave up hope of ever seeing them again and forced myself to move on with my own life.

Bree was the first person that I felt anything for after that. She was like a whirlwind, blowing into my life and turning it upside down. "Hurricane Brittney". That's what I used to call her sometimes, which would make her giggle and joke about sweeping me away if I wasn't careful. But the truth is, she did sweep me away.

Despite her sometimes shallowness, Bree was really a very good person deep down -- someone with a good heart who sometimes just didn't know when too much was too much. But that was Brittany, that was her way -- to always do things to the max, even if they went over to the top sometimes.

I'm not even sure how we ended up getting engaged. We had been together for some time -- several years -- when it just kind of happened. After that much time with someone, it's kind of expected I guess. We never really seriously talked about getting married, although people would always joke about me making an "honest woman" out of her some day. I'd see Bree's green eyes light up at things like that, even though she never really said anything about it.

We were sitting at breakfast one day when it just kind of came out, when she said something about us maybe getting married. We'd gone to a wedding just the day before, one of her old college sorority sisters, and Bree had been talking about it almost non-stop. I didn't really think anything of it at the time and told her that I thought I'd like that. Next thing I knew she was on her feet, wrapping her arms around me and telling me how happy she was and that she couldn't wait to call her father and tell him.

It's not that I didn't love Bree, I did -- I still do. But . . . but as the plans for our wedding progressed, I just found myself growing more apprehensive. I tried to convice myself that it was just a case of pre-wedding jitters; but even then, I knew it was something much more than that. Despite how much I loved Bree, there was still something missing between us -- and as our wedding date got closer, I knew that I wouldn't be able to through with it.

Breaking my engagement to Bree was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. I've had to be the bearer of bad news to soldiers and their families; but looking at her face when I told her that I couldn't marry her, made me want to crawl away afterwards, dig a hole and climb in. As long as I live, I'll never forget the confused and devastated look on her face.

Afterwards, I started rationalizing, telling myself that Bree would never have been happy as an Army doctor's wife. That she would miss the kind of jet-setting life that she was used to. But I knew that they were lies -- the real reason was that I couldn't make that kind of a comittment to her.

After that, I threw myself into work, needing to do something to keep me from dwelling on our broken engagment. When the request came down for Afghanistan, I didn't even hesitate. Even though I hadn't seen any actual combat field work since leaving the Joes for med school, I was the first to volunteer. My rotation was like a blur. Between work and wallowing in my own emotional pity and guilt, I didn't even notice how the time passed until it was time to ship back to the States. I wasn't even back for three months before volunteering for Iraq, and I just got home from a second tour there.

It was one of those dry, windy desert nights when I was returning to my tent when I felt an odd shift that seemed familiar and found myself standing in the middle of a rainstorm, and back at a place that even after ten years' time, I could identify in a heartbeat. I had gone back to the White Oaks Inne.

Childman, Lance, Alinor . . . I'm not sure I can describe what it felt like to see the three of them again. Lance didn't seem overly happy to see me for some reason, although Childman and Alinor did. Alinor later told me that Lance had lost someone -- not in those exact words, but I could guess what he meant, which might account for his return to the Inne. From the look of things, he's turned to Childman for support not surprisingly; although Childman was always like that, our shoulder to cry on when we needed it. I wasn't surprised to hear that he had become a teacher, God knows he had the patience to deal with some of us without going completely over the age.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about being back just yet. There's a part of me that's happy, but there's also a part of me that's cautious and wary. There was such a bond between us all, that I'm apprehenisve about getting involved with them again in case my visits stop abruptly and I find myself hurting all over again -- something I know I don't want to go through a second time.
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Equivalent Trade (Edward) [Oct. 6th, 2005|05:06 am]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

akira_chan
Oh man, it's been ages since I've written in this thing. Years even. I forgot I was keeping a journal, actually with everything that happened. But now that I've come back to Munich, I have time to decompress and write everything.

I'm feeling lost.

[I'm sorry, I was staring at that for awhile. I meant to write this faster.]

Right then...lost. Never mind what happened in Amestris. I don't really need to worry about that anymore...or right now anyway. Basically the biggest things that have happened was that I was attacked here in Munich-

[Crap, I smudged that. Damn drunkards out partying. Every year I forget about Oktoberfest before it comes back around again.]

I was attacked by some creatures that hurt me and sent me to the Inne for awhile. You'd think that have been good, because I really like it there. Usually, but something happened with Zidane...I don't really want to explain it again, for sake of reliving it. It's driving me crazy as is.

Anyway so I get back today, finally, and Al looks at me like I've grown a second head and demands to know what I've been up to. Sure, I'll have to deal with his anger for awhile, but it's okay. He'll get over it. I think he already did, he gave me some work to do. I think I'm going to be happy doing this for awhile.

I'd write about Zi some more, but I just don't know what to say except I'm confused. I'm confused because I love him and I can't trust him...at least somehow, I don't feel like I can trust him. Man I'm fucked up in the head. He promises me and I can't accept that. What the hell is wrong with me? I mean, I know Mama Kudou said it wasn't my fault, but I'm not sure that's entirely true. If I hadn't lost my temper then we wouldn't be fighting and things would be fine between us.

Okay, maybe not, maybe that's a little optimistic...and yeah, what Zi did was really shitty and almost unforgivable, but...I still love him. When he freaked out in the bath house the last time someone came in hurt I just wanted to comfort him and make him feel better...so I know I still love him. I'm just not sure that's enough right now.

Yeah, I was avoiding him. I feel bad about that, but there's not much else I can do. I can't talk to him because I feel really weird. I guess it's like something is being held over our heads...because it is. Somehow I know this is me, because I can't let go. I'm trying so hard and I can't let go. Why can't I let go?

Why did he have to take it that one step too far? And why does that one thing make me want to stay away now? I mean...I love him, I like to be with him. Or I did...

I don't know how this can be fixed...if it can be fixed.

No, I can't think like that. I need Zidane. It has to be fixed, somehow.
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Word from Iason Mink [Oct. 5th, 2005|09:25 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

mishaelamk
This is a notice for the guests who have been stranded at the Inne because of the recent attacks. New portals are, even now, being attuned to you. Because of the intricacies of the power involved, it is taking time for all portals to be replaced.

As of this notice, portal transfer has been re-established for:

Billy Coen
Edward Elric
Harry Potter
Son Goku
Zidane Tribal

The Patrons would like to extend their apologies for the inconvenience. You will be returned to your respective worlds as soon as possible so that you may resume your normal lives.

Also to be announced that, as of this notice, the identity of the assailant is still unknown. I am well aware of the feelings of anger and frustration towards the Guardians. Please understand that we are doing everything in our power to halt these attacks. We have even gone so far as to recruit aid from amongst the ranks of the permanent residents to keep this assailant out of the Inne proper.

Despite the beliefs of many guests, we do have your safety as our priority. I, personally, apologize to all of you who have come under the impression that we aren't doing our best to try to put an end to this threat. If anyone has any information concerning these incidents, please do not hesitate to bring it to our attention.

Until such time as I notify otherwise, Tatsuhiko Shido is the Second-in-Command of the Guardian cadre. If you have any concerns, feel free to bring them to either his or my attention.

Thank you,
Iason Mink
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Banishing Guns and Prayer Beads [Sanzo] [Oct. 1st, 2005|09:05 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

mishaelamk
[mood |bored]

Something has occured to me of late. One of those things that makes you wonder why the hell it popped into your head. It's probably because I've actually started really noticing the shit that goes on around me at the Inne. I never really gave a flying fuck before, but now...

Now that I'm not intentionally blinding myself, I can see just what's going on around me at the Inne.

With the exception of two women, the Inne's population is male-heavy. In the past, it had made me think it was just some kind of screwed up little "love hotel" for male-to-male sexual interactions. But, with some of the people who have come here, I'm not so sure now.

Gojyo, Hakkai, Yohji, Zidane, Irvine, Squall, Kougaiji, Ky, Billy, Leon, Raphael... There is nothing about these people that can be considered "queer". Nothing what-so-ever. Each one of them has simply taken hold of an opportunity for happiness with both hands and refuses to let go no matter what.

So what if that happiness lies in the arms of another man, it's their business.

Not a single one of these people are "fags" or "queers". They're men of different races, backgrounds, ages, problems, and worlds. Not a god-damn one of them have "turned homo" or "gone gay" just because they happen to take sexual gratification from other men. A man doesn't have to be into other men sexually in order to see another person's 'finer' qualities. Likewise, pleasure is pleasure regardless of who it comes from, man or woman. Just because I don't find myself aroused at the thought of a woman's touch doesn't mean that, say, Kudou doesn't. I'm just pickier than he is - by a long shot.

There is one train of thought that makes this entire stupid little "essay" worthwhile to me. It puts a smile on my face every time I think about it.

I almost feel sorry (but I probably won't) for whatever stupid bastard makes the mistake of calling anyone of these men "fags"... because I know the ass kicking they get as a result will be brutal and well-earned.
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[admin] Birthday boys [Sep. 10th, 2005|10:43 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

empressmish
Silva - September 16

Hakkai - September 21
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Hidden Spirit (Silva) [Aug. 22nd, 2005|10:48 pm]
Evil Yaoi Girls Club

empressmish
[mood |mellow]

I finally returned to the Inne not too long ago. My stay however, wasn't long, only about a day and a half. Even though my visit was short, I did manage to spend most of it with Kenshi.

My friend's quest has finally come to an end. The souls of his ancestors have been freed and once again reside within his sword, ready to be returned to their proper resting place, a task that Kenshi will be undertaking soon.

It's nice to see him so relaxed, so . . . free. Yet at the same time, he also seems a bit lost. His quest was such a big part of his life, one that perhaps he didn't expect to fulfill so soon; or perhaps one that he never anticipated surviving. I'm sure he's a bit unsure as to what to do or what his future may hold, a feeling I can more than sympathize with since I will no doubt be in a similar situation once the Shaman Tournament has ended and Hao is finally destroyed.

Hao . . . I have not mentioned anything about him to Kenshi, nor even to Yoh; although I believe that Yoh may suspect something after his encounter with Liliara during his journey to our village. I know it's inevitable that the truth will come out, but I would prefer to be the one to tell Yoh when that time comes. I owe him that much at least.

I wonder what Kenshi will think of me when he learns the truth of just who and what I am. That all of my talk of being honored to have been chosen as one of the ten officiating priests of the Shaman Tournament is just that -- talk. That I never had to compete to be chosen, that the place was handed to me because of the blood that runs through my veins – tainted as it is.

No. I won't let myself think of these things right now. Dwelling on them won't do me any good. They will come when the Great Spirit wills it.

Instead, I think I'd rather dwell on the time that I spent with Kenshi at the Inne – the time that we spent getting to know one another on a much more intimate basis.

Since the earliest days of our friendship, Kenshi and I have made use of the Japanese-style bath house on the grounds of the Inne several times together. Always before it was merely for relaxation and peace, but once we declared our feelings for one another, it became a private place where we could be together as well.

Up until our most recent visit there, the physical side of our relationship consisted mainly of light touches on the arm or shoulder and kissing. After seeing Drizzt's reaction to my friend's blindness and his own way of introducing himself to Kenshi, I had thought to use that same method to allow Kenshi to “see” me as it were. I'm not sure I can put into words how I felt when he touched me, his fingers gliding over my skin, while he used his sense of touch to see what what his eyes couldn't.

It's been so long since I've been with someone. Even before Chrom's death, our time together had been limited. Between preparing ourselves for the Shaman Tournament and Chrom's obligations to his family, there was very little time left for the two of us.

I used to love it when he would touch me, his hands gentle one moment; and then teasing and playful the next. He could drive me crazy sometimes. But it was a nice kind of crazy.

The piercing was Chrom's idea. He'd mentioned it – more than once – and I was never really sure if he was being serious or if he was just joking with me. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it, I'm usually not so impulsive.

Chrom was fascinated by it, once he got over his initial shock. (I don't think he believed that I would actually do it.) He could spend what sometimes felt like hours toying with it, using his fingers and his mouth to drive me nearly insane with sensation. The pleasure that he gave me far outweighed the initial pain of having it done and I don't regret it.

I suppose I should have said something to Kenshi beforehand, but my mind was . . . well elsewhere at the time. I'm still not quite sure of what to make of his reaction. He was surprised, that much was obvious, and perhaps a little apprehensive as well. I think he might have been afraid of hurting me when in actuality, his tentative fingers did quite the opposite. I only wish that we could have had more time so see where our explorations might have taken us.

Until the Inne brings me back, I will have to content myself with memories from my past visits there. Kenshi did mention going to Edenia again. The idea of visiting paradise with him appeals to me more each time that I hear it.
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